Now For Some Laughs ;-)

Christian One Liners

 

• Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
• Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
• Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
• It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
• The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
• When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
• People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
• Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
• Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
• If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
• God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
• Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
• Peace starts with a smile.
• I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?!
• A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just! sitting on the premises.
• We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
• Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
• Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
• Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
• Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
• Forbidden fruits create many jams.
• God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
• God grades on the cross, not the curve.
• God loves everyone, but probably prefers"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
• He who angers you, controls you!
• If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
• Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
• The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
• The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
• We don't change the message, the message changes us.
• You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to..........discourage him.
• The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
  1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

Thoughts On Aging...

Quotes on Aging

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life.

~ C.S. Lewis

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

By the time you're 80 years old, you've learned everything.  You only have to remember it.

~ George Burns

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet.

~ Lee Marvin

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We don't stop laughing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop laughing.

~ Anonymous

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If I were given an opportunity to present a gift to the next generation,
it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself. 

~ Charles Schulz

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An aging wife inquired of her husband, Will you love me when I'm old, gray, and wrinkled
To which he answered, I do.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Enjoy the little things
for one day you may look back and realize
they were the big things. 

~ Robert Brault

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Old age has its pleasures, which though different, are no less than the pleasures of youth. 

~ W. Somerset Maugham

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I married an archeologist because the older I grow, the more he appreciates me. 

~ Agatha Christie

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, tho', in another dress.  And as the evening twilight fades away, the sky is filled with stars. invisible by day. 

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God. 

~ Comedian Red Skeleton

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and
would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep. 

~ Norman Cousins

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. 

~ Norman Cousins

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is bad to suppress laughter.  It goes back down and spreads your hips. 

~ Comedian Fred Allen

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is pleasing to the dear God whenever thou rejoicest or laughest from the bottom of thy heart. 

~ Martin Luther

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills, wills. 

~ Richard Needham

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Giving is the secret to a healthy life. Not necessarily money, but whatever a person has to give of encouragement, sympathy, and understanding. 

~ John D. Rockefeller

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

To me - old age is fifteen years older than I am.

~ Bernard Mannes Baruch

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Old age is when you know all the answers-but nobody asks you any questions.

~ Lawrence J. Peter

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking younger,
he may be sure that they think he is growing old. 

~ Washington Irving

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Old age is just as important and meaningful a part of God's perfect will as is youth.
God is every bit as interested in the old as the young.

~ J.O. Sanders

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your manner of life now is already determining your life in those years of old age and retirement, without your realizing it even, and perhaps without your giving enough thought to it.  One must therefore prepare oneself for retirement.

~ Paul Tournier

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration but its donation.

~ Corrie Ten Boom

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Old age is like everything else.
To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

~ Fred Astaire

~ ~ ~ ~ ~  

It's a mere moment in a man's life between an All-Star game and an old-timer's game.

~ Vin Scully

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

- Mark Twain

~ ~ ~ ~ ~  

  

A man's character never changes radically from youth to old age. What happens is that circumstances bring out characteristics which have not been obvious to the superficial observer

~ Hesketh Pearson

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 The three immutable facts: You own stuff. You will die. Someone will get that stuff

~ Jane Bryant

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I do not know what the big deal is about old age.
Old people who shine from inside look ten to twenty years younger.

~ Dolly Parton

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 Growing older is not upsetting;
being perceived as old is.

~ Kenny Rogers

 ~ ~ ~ ~

 To see a young couple loving each other is no wonder;
but to see an old couple loving each other is the best sight of all.

~ William Makepeace Thackeray

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If you take all the experience and judgment of men over fifty out of the world, there wouldn't be enough left to run it.

~ Henry Ford

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.

~ Albert Einstein

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I'd like to be a bigger and more knowledgeable person ten years from now than I am today. I think that for all of us as we grow older, we must discipline ourselves to continue expanding, broadening, learning, keeping our minds active and open.

~ Clint Eastwood

You know, by the time you reach my age,
you've made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly.

~ Ronald Reagan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

~ Gelett Burgess

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.

~ Doris Day

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

What I Mean When I Say..............

When I say, "I am a Christian"

by Carol Wimmer 

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting, "I’ve been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost!
That's why I chose this way".

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble -
Needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on.

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed
And cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion
Asking humbly to be taught.

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are all too visible
But God believes I'm worth it.

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache,
Which is why I seek His name.

When I say, "I am a Christian"

I do not wish to judge
I have no authority...
I only know I'm loved

More Lessons From Another Faith

Here is something else that was recently sent to me by a friend. Hope that you find it as interesting as I did. Whether you share these beliefs or not, the "moral"s of the story are still relevant.
*******************************

Exactly 3000 years ago, God in His persona of Rama was floating around heaven with the Holy Mother energy of the Universe, in the form of Sita at his side. As they passed over a remote island on the planet Earth, Sita noticed a blind man walking through a marketplace. What caught her attention was that the man was chanting "Rama, Rama, Rama, Sita, Sita, Sita" as he walked. She saw that as he passed by, many people would put a few alms in his begging bowl and some would even start chanting themselves. This pleased Her greatly. After watching him for a while, she saw he had left the little town and was now walking a path that led to the edge of a steep cliff. "Rama, Rama, Rama, Sita, Sita, Sita" the man continued to chant.   "Oh, Lord Rama," said Sita, "there is a poor blind man who always chants our holy names, and in a moment he will fall off a cliff and die. Please take away his blindness. Such a devoted follower deserves our compassion and help." "I don’t get involved in that way with humans." said Rama "I have given them free choice and let them create and work out their own Karma. Besides, you have great power. If you want to save him, you do it." "Oh Lord," Sita said "I feel Motherly compassion and plead the case, but I would never presume to act in your place."    "Well, I have a suggestion." said Rama "This man is so devoted that we will see whose name he calls when he falls over the cliff. If he calls Rama, I will save him and if he calls Sita, you save him. And then he will join us in heaven and enjoy the infinite blissful vision of eternal glory that is the fate of all true devotees." "Oh, that will be fine!" a beaming Sita said.   And so, the Holy divinities watched as the man proceeded on his way towards the cliff. "Rama, Rama, Rama, Sita, Sita, Sita" chanted the blind man. He then took one final step, fell over the edge, and screamed "Oh crap!"    Rama turned to Sita and said, "That’s not my name! Is that yours?" "No," said Mother Sita, "it’s not my name either." "Well then," proclaimed Lord Rama, "he must now reincarnate as whatever he said in his last moment!"   There are a few very important lessons to be learned from this ancient tale. One would be that we should be aware that not all people who are singing the Lords name are sincere. Some do it simply to get alms.   More importantly, we must appreciate that in a way we are all blind and approaching an unseen cliff that is our own death. What is on Your lips today?  What will be on them as you go over the cliff?

Moving Past "Karma" ..OR...Bye Bye Guilt......

While I am not of a faith that believes in "karma", a friend sent me this, and I found it interesting in that it reminded me of something in my own beliefs.
As a Christian, we believe our sins are forgiven, and yet many still cling to and are influenced negatively by guilts and burdens from the past, things which should long ago have been yeilded to God. Many still harbor unforgiveness and bitterness.  
These are things which can hinder or prevent moving forward on the path that the Lord would have us go...walking in His love.
As a Christian, if we do this, we are saying that Christ died in vain.
 What do you think?
***********************************
Once upon a time, long, long ago, there were 2 holy men traveling together through the countryside. They came upon a beautiful young woman sitting and sobbing by the side of a stream. She said she was afraid of drowning and asked them if they would help her cross to the other side of the water.
Without saying a word, one of the monks picked up the girl and carried her to the other side of the stream where he gently put her down. She thanked him and went on her way.
The two men then continued their journey. After a while, the monk said to the one who had carried the young woman, "How could you do such a thing? We have taken vows of chastity. It is forbidden to even talk to a woman let alone touch one."
The other monk lovingly replied, "When I came to the other side of the stream, I put her down. Why are you still carrying her?"

 

What have you been carrying around that you should have put down and left behind? Do you still harbor feelings of regret, anger, hate, disappointment, or any other negative adjectives or adverbs that apply, for events, people, or things that are not here, now? Why do you do this masochistic activity?

 

Life can be equated with a boat ride taking you from one shore to another. As the boat goes across the water, it leaves a wake in its path. This wake represents your past. And just like the wake a boat leaves behind doesn’t propel the boat forward at all, your past doesn’t drive you towards the other shore. What’s done is done if you will be done with it

 

 If you don’t face the front of the boat and place your attention in the present moment, you will not be able to avoid running into the icebergs and other potential hazards that could jeopardize your trip through life. Your karma is fulfilled and up to date at all times. Your clinging to the past and fantasizing about the future is what keeps you paying a karmic debt. Simply attend to this moment and witness the path your boat is traveling.

This is action free of reaction and further karma.

Thoughts In Fours...And More............

THE FOUR QUESTIONS OF VALUE IN LIFE: 
1. What is sacred?
2.  Of what is the spirit made?
3.  What is worth living for?
4.  What is worth dying for?
THE ANSWER: Love
 Don Juan de Marco
 **************************************************
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best
Don Miguel Ruiz
******************************
MAJOR BARRIERS TO GROWTH:
1. Fear
2. Unbelief in anything not tangible/physical/material
3. Unforgiveness
4. Judgmentalism
5. Ego
Granny Lee
*************************
So ok now, what do you think??

As I Sip My Morning Coffee........

There are times, especially as I get older, that I feel like a "stranger in a strange land", borrowing from Robert Heinlein's novel of the same name.
Like his character, Valentine Michael Smith, there are days when I just cannot "grok" it all.
While I deplore Heinlein's soapbox for polyamory and his overt misogynist attitude, he had a point about us strange humans and some of our peculiarities. Nothing too deep here today, I promise. lol

Are you a morning person? Well, I am, and seem to honestly be the only one I know of as far as my family and friends, with the possible exception of a buddy in Cali. Like here I am awake and no one to yap at. Doggone!

Also heard from two friends (both mature and responsible adults) who are staying in lousy relationships (their assessment, not mine) because "the sex is so good". Give me a break! In my view, there never has been nor will be any physical intimacy worth tolerating what you say that you do. Really. Have to wonder if this is less about sex and more about their fear of the unknown.
Someimes a known evil or negative is more preferable to some people than the threat or challenge of the unknown. Hmmm That could explain how some nincompoops keep getting reelected. Ahem!

Just silly junk like this rolling around in my muddled ole brain this morning. Think I need a coffee refill bad!
What is on your mind today?

The Power Of Our Thoughts , Our Words, And Our Attitudes

Have been reading, studying, and thinking a lot about the power of our thoughts and words on our lives, and may create another blog about this..devoted just to this type of thing. The more I study and contemplate this, the more light bulbs seem to go off in this ole head and the more sense it all makes. About time, eh? lol
The Bible tells us that as a man thinks, so he is. Powerful stuff! When these thoughts come out of our mouths, it is like we are giving life to them. Not only do others hear them, but we hear them and internalize them more ourselves. This is the basis for repeating affirmations or what some faiths call "confessions", Bible verses, and prayers aloud. These are good positive things that stick in our heads and lift our souls and spirits. Christian Scriptures even tell us that the power of life and death is in our tongues. Awesome! 
By the same token, when we let negativity intrude and monopolize our thoughts, and worse yet...our speech, we allow it to drag us down. It can affect us mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Why let it?! 
 Yeah, stuff happens (the nice way of putting that popular phrase), but it is seldom what happens to us as much as our response or reaction to it that will get to us and mess us up.
Some who practice meditation believe in SBC...Stop, Breathe, and Center. Christians say: Stop, Believe, and Christ.
This is not some simplistic, phoney, sugary way to get through the day or deny our feelings; but rather a realignment of thinking, a more careful way of speaking, and an overall attitude adjustment which can make us survivors and even victors instead of victims. 
It is not some "new age" philosophy either, but rather quite old, and is found in the Bible, in Buddhism, and other belief systems as well. It is your life and your physical and mental health, sooooo........
Now, what do you think?

Freedom And Gender

What does freedom mean to you? Do you feel you are free? Do you feel that others should be? Why or why not?
When a friend and I were talking recently, he mentioned the womens' movement in this country with some derision, and I felt led (as usual, lol) to express myself on that.
While men will never totally understand women, any more than we will men, let me give you guys out there a clue...or two....and maybe some gals too.
Women's Lib wasn't about taking away any man's or men's power, because most women know that we already have power.
Whether we always know how to access or utililize it, we realize deep within us that we are smart and strong...and this really should be no threat to any real man. It is something within us which is made to sustain and nourish us and those around us, not to detract from or denigrate anyone else.
The "fuss over women's rights" was about equality.
Equality of options; Equality of respect; Equality of opportunity; Equality of consideration....just a few little things like this.
Do I feel equal to a man? No. No desire to be either. I am what/who I am for a reason. That is good enough for me. What I am is neither superior nor inferior to what constitutes being a man.  
There is a difference in genders for a reason; we complement each other. Hey, that's a good thing. It is meant for cooperation, not competition. 
Those who have a problem with the womens' movement (and granted there are extremists in any movement!) have no quarrel with civil rights, the abolishment of racial/ethnic stereotypes, and the extension of basic rights/freedoms to all people regardless of race.
This is beyond puzzling. 
Why do some men (and yes, some women) want to "put me in my place" when even God does not treat me this way?! He gave me free will, so that even though he created me and loves me, I can reject him if I choose to do so. It would not be a smart thing to do and would certainly not be in my best interest, but I have that option. Even at my worst, God showed me that much love and respect. It is more than I can expect from some of my fellow humans...but then, he is God.
So now that I have ranted and rambled...what are your thoughts?   

Talking About Faith.......

Something one of my friends and fellow bloggers wrote about "Faith" got me to thinking about something I wrote back in 2007, and I wanted to share it today. Not a professional poet here, so bear with me. Ok?
***********************

MAKE ME LIKE YOU LORD

WHAT CAN I DO LORD

HOW CAN I SHOW

THE LOVE YOU’VE SHOWN ME

SO THAT OTHERS WILL KNOW

HOW CAN I EXPRESS

WHAT YOU’VE PUT IN MY HEART

I KNOW WHAT I FEEL, LORD

BUT HOW DO I START

SHOWING LOVE WHEN I’M LOVED

IS SO EASY TO DO

SHOWING LOVE WHEN I’M NOT

IS OBEYING YOU

IN WHATEVER I DO, LORD

AND WHATEVER I SAY

PLEASE LEAD ME AND GUIDE ME

ON MY JOURNEY EACH DAY

FATHER, HELP ME TO LEARN

AND TO GROW AS I MUST

I YEARN TO WEAR OUT, LORD

AND NOT DIE OF RUST

Why Not?

There is a tag (license plate for you yanks) on the front of my car which says: WHY NOT.
Now, I should say that MS is a state which requires a tag only on the back of a vehicle. The front space is free for individual expression.
Before ya get all bent out of shape and think that I am encouraging some kind of licentious or irresponsible behavior, let me explain.
People my age are often treated as children again, told we are too old for this or that (instead of too young, as with kids), and made to pretty much feel that we should "stay in our place"...that being a rocking chair..preferably out of the way, and somewhere quiet.
We are not expected to have dreams or adventures or real fun anymore. Gosh, we might fall and break a hip or something. Phooey! We could do that walking down the church steps.
If we want to go back to school, travel, have a job, or go out on a date (single folks only here!),  we are looked at as if we are pitifully senile. Poor things. Phooey!
We've done all that before and more, and haven't forgotten how.
We might be a bit slower (well, some of us), but lots of us can still work circles around our younger counterparts, and are generally more responsible and dependable. Old age doesn't mean sick and feeble either, and a lot of us take care of ourselves and are actually in quite good health. Cannot honestly remember the last time I had a cold or the flu.  
We're usually less stressed in some ways, because if we had a mortgage, it's paid off (or almost), and we have learned to ditch consumerism and keeping up with the Jones, because we really don't give a rat's butt what people think of us. If they want to measure their worth by their possessions and things, let 'em. We know better. 
And if we want to start blogging instead of sitting and rocking, why not? We may not have a clue what we are doing, but we didn't when we gave birth to you youngsters either, and here ya are anyway...and you turned out ok, for the most part. 
And if some silly ole bat gets her wrinkes rankled and her white hair all standing on end because of some nit wit's attitude and wants to rant online....well, why not?
God bless you all. Now it is time for my peanut butter and banana sandwich. Have some? Why not?

Got A Minute?

"Time is an illusion we accept to lend order to our lives". This was from a recent communication from a close friend of mine. What do you think?
Any frustrated physicists out there? If so, want to talk some string theory? lol Ohhhh well!

Just Wonderin'...Just Sayin'...And... Just Me

MsSuelynn, one of my friends on here, had the right idea about larger print. Sure helps!
************************
Trust you will pardon my superficial musings, but I honestly cannot spare any more passion or energy for the cares of this world. Ok? Ok. Dealing with Lee's world is more than enough sometimes.
*************************
Just wonderin' about all of us single folk (my age group), whether never married, divorced, or widowed....who have been alone for a number of years now. 
Are we set in our ways? Still grieving over lost love? Still holding out hope for some lost love? Just picky? Afraid of rejection? Waiting for that Prince on his white charger?  Or..perhaps.. figuring out that, for all of its frustrations and aggravations, there is sometimes a lot to be said for the single life? Just wonderin'....
***************************
Sometimes I think it would probably do us all good to just shut up, kick back, and think of how very, very blessed most of us really are. There is very likely someone else worse off physically, financially, emotionally, or spiritually, if we but take the time to quit whining, moaning, and bitching and look around us. Just sayin'.........
************************
This morning was beautiful, with sunshine, birds singing (even an old woodpecker hammering away in the distance), lil squirrels scampering through the tree limbs, and my dog doing his playful, hopping run through the grass and clover. Does it get any better than this? Don't think so, but that is just me.....
********************
Now what is on your mind today/tonight?  


  

What's Up This Weekend?

Good Morning!
It seems that the fog of earlier this morning is finally giving way to a bit of sunshine on what looks to be a warm and cloudy day on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Predictions are that the temperature will climb to nearly 80 degrees F., and since it is already ceiling fan time and is not even 10am as I write this, I don't doubt the forecast. How is it where you are?
******************************
Have been reading a lot about the upcoming "super moon" tonight. Supposed to be the largest since 1993.
No, of course it isn't really any larger...before you call me to task on that one. It will appear larger because the moon is approaching its "perigee" or its closest approach to Earth in its orbit. Combine the closeness with a full moon, and you have one that is at least 30% (or more) brighter than when the moon is at its "apogee" , or farthest distance from the Earth. Hence, the Super Moon! 
Some swear by the old theories of an increase in natural disasters during "super moon" times, but scientists say this is really not substantiated. What do you think?
*************************
While my weekend plans might involve a matinee, I know of some who are rejoicing over the band Mustang Sally making an appearance again in this area. What are Your plans? Shopping? The gun range? Yard work? Biking? Museums? Volunteer work? Hiking? Parties? Vegging out with a book, computer, or the TV? Romance? Laundry?
******************************
Do you like to people watch as much as I do? If so, you have discovered why God made WalMart. It has nothing to do with retail. Right?
Well, let me tell you, I have found another place. The lobbies of the casinos here on the Coast are even better! Yes, hard to conceive of, I know. If I am lucky today, I will swing by at least one of those, sit and stare unabashedly at all who come and go for awhile, and tell you about it tomorrow. What is the fertile ground for this where you are?
******************
Ok. I am done babbling. So, answer me already!  

Hello World!

Welcome to my thoughts, musings, mind wandering, and much wondering. Thank you for taking time to stop by and read.
As a point of reference for you, I am a 63 (soon to be 64) year old female on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, in the USA. Yep, planet Earth. 
While I am a happy and thankful person and am generally upbeat, there are some people and things that come into my life which cause me wonder, and when they get here in print, might (possibly) not always seem optimistic, cheerful, sensitive, or even politically correct. That is life. Whatever I have to say is not meant to drag anyone down, so I hope that you will take it in that spirit, perhaps share my wonder, and cut me some slack.
My outlook is that God is great, life is good, and let's embrace it with passion, imagination, and a sense of awe and wonder.
Will start sharing my observations, reflections, and flights of fancy with you tomorrow. Stay tuned!